Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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