yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
