You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
