Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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