The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize