do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
