Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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