After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
