it's too hot outside to masturbate.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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