Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
