Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
