so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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