It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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