My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
FUCK WHALES
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
