Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

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  (716): fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck. http://tfl.nu/62ha
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (926)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.

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  (636): 12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome. http://tfl.nu/wffb
  Replies (10) Good night (2786) Bad night (915)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?

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  (570): Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning? http://tfl.nu/o1k1
  Replies (39) Good night (4172) Bad night (1844)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.

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  (517): I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was. http://tfl.nu/tvxi
  Replies (19) Good night (1066) Bad night (2078)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  that is an amazing summary hahaha

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  (847): I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day. (1-847): that is an amazing summary hahaha http://tfl.nu/zrw7
  Replies (6) Good night (1690) Bad night (1118)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.

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  (502): I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this. (502): Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward. http://tfl.nu/u5vx
  Replies (11) Good night (2135) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (835): View more from Pennsylvania

  You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"

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  (835): You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood" http://tfl.nu/u3xk
  Replies (2) Good night (1425) Bad night (542)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.

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  (+44): Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull. http://tfl.nu/b17w
  Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (444)
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  (628): View more from California

  Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.

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  (628): Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes. http://tfl.nu/sfav
  Replies (4) Good night (1098) Bad night (393)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell

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  (201): Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell http://tfl.nu/payj
  Replies (6) Good night (2792) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.

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  (301): Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply. http://tfl.nu/tohw
  Replies (0) Good night (778) Bad night (342)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking

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  (402): I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking http://tfl.nu/ygys
  Replies (0) Good night (740) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)

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  (254): We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :) http://tfl.nu/s9j9
  Replies (8) Good night (814) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through

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  (773): The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through http://tfl.nu/5p20
  Replies (4) Good night (318) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (624): View more from

  That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...

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  (624): That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship... http://tfl.nu/fo6a
  Replies (0) Good night (44) Bad night (13)

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