Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
