i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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