Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
