Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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