so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
