Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
