who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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