nut hugger
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
