well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't turn off my feet"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
