He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
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If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
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He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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