U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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