Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
