You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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