I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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