woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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