never play flip cup with pint glasses
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
