I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize