do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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