even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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