Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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