A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
