Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
