haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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