Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
