Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize