We're facebook friends in real life
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
