sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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