So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
