i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
