If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
