And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize