I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
