you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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