Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
