She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
