you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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