I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
