he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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