hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
