just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
