Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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