we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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