Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I love you.
Bad choice
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
