At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
