A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
