Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
