If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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