so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
In America we eat man semen.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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