I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
