I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
