ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize