Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
