the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize