google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
